Reminded to Trust

Last spring I knew my job was going to end for the summer.  I had looked forward to time home to spend with my family.   Money would be tight, but experience had taught me that God would meet our needs.  As a proclamation of faith I cut a memory verse out my daughters Sunday school paper and stuck it up on the fridge.  “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19)   To be honest, I had a few rough moments when I said “Please do it, don’t mock my faith.”  Yet again and again I had the opportunity to look at the verse on the fridge and say “Yes, you did say you would, didn’t you.”  During this time I leisurely looked for a summer job, only to find out that the job I expected to return to was gone. This was when the not so leisurely, somewhat panicked job search began. While working, I felt pretty self-sufficient.  I met needs and wants too.  Now God was teaching me an important lesson about trust, and His ability to meet my needs.  Trust is not an easy lesson to learn, it looks simple on paper, but it is hard not to panic when the fridge is getting bare and kids are outgrowing clothes. 

At the grocery store near our home, you have to put a quarter in the cart to unlock it from the rest in the corral.  Recently, I arrived at the store only to realise I had left my quarter on the dresser.  What a pain, I had no other change, and without a quarter I’d have to carry my groceries in the shopping baskets the store provides.  I don’t mind using baskets when I only need a couple of items, but I needed a full grocery order.  As I walked toward the store feeling a sense of defeat, I looked and there was a cart sitting with a quarter in it.  Someone had left it behind.  That just doesn’t happen.  It is a discount store, and people who shop at discount stores always take their cart back to get the quarter.  It's in their nature, I know, because I am one.   Yes, the cart was a need, the need  was met.  As I went through the store I thought how again and again over the summer God had met our needs.  I didn’t always see it at the time in my uptight state, but needs were met.  Friends had passed on their kid’s out-grown clothes, odd jobs had come up, and an unknown person had even left a gift card in the mailbox to help with back to school.  The cart was another gentle reminder that God was faithful to His promise. 

My lesson during this has certainly been trust.  I am definitely a work in progress.  I have also had many opportunities to teach my children about the difference between a need and a want.  Much of what we think we need is really what we want.  We are teaching our kids to see things on a bigger scale.  Since the food crisis in the Horn of Africa has been drawn to our attention we have had many discussions in our home.  Comparatively, my job crisis is insignificant.  

I am still faithfully searching for a job; the sense of panic is growing less, and I am trusting a little more.  The uptight feeling comes back here and there, but I am learning to say, as the boy’s father said in Mark 9:24 “I do believe; help me to overcome my unbelief!”